Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Randomize
