so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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