Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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