some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
