I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize