She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
