I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize