I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
