is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
NoShamevember. You game?
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In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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