dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I believe in your delicious
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
