If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize