So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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