Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
