Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
