I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
