yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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