the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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