But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
