I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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