I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
