You're so nebulous sometimes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
