I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
