Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
