Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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