Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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