"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
