Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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