Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
