Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
