is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
