He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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