fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
