I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
