I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
