Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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