No awkward lesbian experiences without me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
