I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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