sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
