you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
