Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
