It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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