No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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