Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
