Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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