Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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