The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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