I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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