i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
