you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
