My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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