Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
