I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
