Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize