Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
this hospital has no fireball
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho