do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
