i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
