weddingsv make me drug and hornr
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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