I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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