I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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