Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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