I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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