Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
