hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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