physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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