i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
