just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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