ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The streets are paved with hand jobs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
