Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
