Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
