Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is the high leading the old right now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
